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Everyone keeps telling me the trick to being a writer is to keep writing. I don’t think they say that to painters. But maybe they do.

I have friends who can’t stop themselves from writing. They don’t understand how I can NOT write. They can tell I’m literate, and I edit their things and help make them better, and I can tell funny story, so they just assume I must be able to write too. But what they don’t know is that almost all the funny stories I tell are just true.

My family is just interesting and funny, and we go interesting places and funny things happen to us. When I’m with them, and someone does something, I say, “you know you’re going to be chapter 57 when I write my book!” We’ve even decided what the title should be. And Then There Was More Food, because there always is. We laugh until we cry, and then we go back for more pie.
sherron0: (highlights)
How to Clean the House

1. Open a new folder on your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete
Housework permanently?"

6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly.

7. Feel better?

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.
sherron0: (Default)
Well, we got up with the sirens about 4am, and it was close enough to be scary, but passed north of us.  We were in the basement anyway.  All of mine are fine, but lord, at the destruction, and those killed.  Too ugly to think about.

My dad (Larry) is on patrol with his state guard unit.  There was a clip of them on MSNBC.  Mother saw it, but I haven't been able to catch it.

I did hear one funny story.  My good friend Lisa (who lives just under 2 miles from Union University) ended up in her 6x6 metal and concrete storm shelter with her hysterical preteen daughter, 3 dogs (one of them husky sized) AND her ex husband, whom one of the dogs hates, AND (wait for it)  HIS current GIRL FRIEND!  I don't know, a few minutes of that crowd, and I'd have been preferring the tornado!
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My father-in-law is a really cool old guy.  He tells a great story.  And he's lead a long and interesting life.  He says they're all true, based on a true incident.  He's just the kind of guy that things happen around.  So yesterday I get this email:
I had my hearing checked yesterday and the result was that both ears are wearing out equally but not to the point where a hearing aid would be recommended.
 
The gal that ran the program asked me what made me think that my hearing was going bad.  I told her that some of my kids and grandkids speak softly and rapidly.  She said to tell them to enunciate and slow down.  Then she added..."if that doesn't take care of the problem ....tell them to shut up,"  There was no mention of buying a hearing aid.
He's just the kind of guy that people feel comfortable saying things like that to.  I hope he tells all the kids  (6kids+spouses, 17 grandchildren, so far)
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Just too fun not to pass on.  The site is www.lolcatbible.com  -- they're trying to do the whole bible, obscure prophets and all.

Job 1

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

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Prowlog

1 In teh land of Uz wuz a man calded Job. Teh man wuz goodz, wif respeck fur teh Ceiling Cat and hated evilz.2 Teh man hadz seven sunz and tree doters,3 And lots of sheepz and camlez and rinoceruseses and servnts, srsly.4 His sunz tok turns mading cookies, and they all eated them.5 And Job wuz liek "Oh noes! Wut if cookies were sin? Gota prey, just in cased."


Furst Tess

5 Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Saitin wented 2.6 Ceiling Cat axt Saitin, "Wher u wuz?" Saitin saied "Oh, hai. I'z wuz in ur earth, woking up and down uponz it."7 Teh Ceiling Cat sayd "Has u seen mai servnt Job? He can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."

8 "No wai!" sed Saitin.9 "U just plyin favrits.10 If u take his cheezburgers, he no laiks u no moar."

11 Then teh Ceiling Cat sed "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no hurtzing Job hissef." And then Saitin went awai.


12 Wun day Jobes' sunz and doters were eateding cookies at teh oldest wuns hoose,13 And a mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Ur donkzeys and moo cows was eateding grass"14 And thens teh servnts was atacked by some dudez and ur naminals was stoldz by them and only i got wai."

15 And then anotter mans cam to told Job a diffrant mesege. He sed "Teh Ceiling Cat maids fyr fall from teh skys and it burnded ur sheepz and more servnts and only i got awai."

16 And thens a more diffranter mans cam to told Job a mesege. "Sum Chaldean dudez took ur rinoceroseseses and killd moar servnts and only i got wai."

17 And then 1 moar mans cam to told Job a mesege.18 "Ur sunz howse feld over and skwishded evryones. Sry."

19 Then Job got upt and shaved and was liek "Gota prey now."

20 "Teh Ceiling Cat giv me cheezburger, teh Ceiling Cat takded mah cheezburger awai. I stil laiks teh Ceiling Cat."

21 And teh Ceiling Cat sed "I winz!!"

22 In all dis Job wudn´ do eniting dat made teh Ceiling Cat sad."

sherron0: (Default)
The police never think it's as funny as you do.
sherron0: (Default)
So, I was just musing about the fact that there's always music in my head, and how I so often hear (and sometimes say aloud -- though I've learned not to do that so much in my adult life) lines from songs. It's comforting sometimes, knowing that what I feel and experience must, in some ways be, if not universal, at least not so strange.

Of course, then there are those times that the one line is all I can remember from the song, and I spend the rest of the day hearing that one line or two, over and over, trying to remember what the rest of the song was, or who sang it.

And then, since it's 4am, and life gets funnier this time of day, and I'm talking about hearing things, I'll repeat what I learned from experience one night in an ER:

If you're ever in a hospital ER because you are depressed, and some nice medpro asks you, "Do you hear voices no one else hears?" the correct answer is NOT, "How would I know whether others hear them or not?" HA Psychpros have NO sense of humor.

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