sherron0: (prozac)



From Face Book:
Am doing unpacking, and laundry, and mail sorting, and phone calling, and re-packing, and other just downright productive, if boring, getting-ready stuff.

<a friend> comments: 
yeah, never the fun part of travel, that's for sure. I use to do all of the work, get the pets ready for the sitter, get the kids ready, pack my stuff and their stuff. Then husband would run in, throw in a pair of shorts, a few shirts in the suitcase. Then he always wondered why I was so stressed at the beginning of the trip.

I reply:

--for most of our trips, your scenario was mine. But since it's a rope/rappelling/camping related trip, and Mark is the designated "Camping Chair" he has to get all that stuff r...eady. And "the kids" are now just Thomas, who will be staying at home and pet/house sitting. Not having to worry about the kids, the pets, and the house while we're gone relieves a TON of stress!

sherron0: (Default)
I opened a short email to a friend this way, a few days ago:

No time to chat, ::frown::

In my head for the last few days I've been composing a letter to all the people around me whom I owe time (letters, list, chapters, phone calls, books, journal entries, graduation gifts, visits, etc.) to, saying basically, "I love you, I haven't forgotten you, I'm busy, I'm physically iffy, etc."  In much more detailed, soothing language.  But I haven't actually had time to write it.  You're on the list of recipients.  Maybe I should hire you to write it. ;-)
She didn't take me up on the hint.  I was only half joking.  Half of me was in there going, "Please, please, somebody writing me a good excuse note!"  There's either something seriously wrong with me or I'm very seriously over-committed.  Definitely the second.  Maybe both.
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No, No, No.  I can NOT go tomorrow.  I don't have time to relax and eat and visit!  What was I thinking?

Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then they discover that once a year is way too often.
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Yet another day that I carried the newspaper around with me, hoping for a minute to catch up on at least a little local news, and now I'm just dropping it in the recycle bin, unread.  On my way to bed, way too tired to even care.
sherron0: (SO)
A euphemism for home inspection.  But it went well.  She seemed favorably impressed with the facilities, the zoo, the boys, and the Keeper (me).

I've been cleaning, emptying that room where you put things that you don't know what to do with, so it can be Shelby's bedroom.  The most difficult has been the closet, which I'm not through with.  I have thrown out and or given away at least a room's worth of stuff.  Because some of the stuff (furniture) that moved out of there had to be put somewhere else, which meant we had to move something to make room,  and on and on.  Mark said he felt like we were in one of those tile-moving puzzles.

I finally got a "scrapbook" put together as a slide show and printed it out on card stock and bound it, for her to take to Shelby, so he will get a (falsely clean and organized) idea of us.  It turned out pretty well.  I may try to figure out how to add the slide show to the Ostrander website.

So our first in home visit with Shelby will be next Friday, Sept.26th.  We will meet at the bowling alley and bowl with the Asperger's Young adult social group.  Then Cheeburger, Cheeburger for food, then we take Thomas back to class for an hour, and I have no idea what Shelby and I will do, then home.  If he's still comfortable, he'll stay overnight.  I'm both excited and terrified.  Mark, of course, won't be here, because he'll be rappelling off some cliff in N.Carolina as a warm up for Bridge Day.

So now, after an exciting day [ TB test, taking Mark to work so I can have the car t get to the AS support Luncheon, then back to pick up Mark, to come home for the home visit] I've moved on to the wine and relax portion of the evening.  Whoo.
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I am just a little bit over committed.  I love it in some ways, but it takes a lot out of me. 

I 've definitely signed up for too much. 

Especially now that I'm driving Thomas to Decatur (about 45 minutes) twice a week for Calculus.  At least it's going well.  Unlike in Japanese, I don't have to sit in class with him.  I can go to the lobby of the Sci & Math building and get some paperwork done.  But it's from 9-10:40am, so by the time I get up at 7, get ready go over there, sit, drive home, it's blown the heck out of two mornings. 

My Psychpro adjusted my drugs last Friday (upped the Wellbutrin) and that has helped but the adjustment phase meant 5 days of 3 of the 4D's -- drymouth, dizziness, diarrhea, and death (the four most common side effects of all anti-depressants).

So I was too sick to drive Thomas to calculus on Tues. so I made Mark take him (and I had to make him, grr).  So he made Thomas drive (the first time since his accident).  I asked Thomas how class was, and he said, "not nearly as stressful as before and after, Daddy made me drive"
me: "oh?" 
TsO: "yes, there were expletives involved."
Me:"you cussed in front of Daddy? 
TsO: "No, it was him.  I think I almost killed us."

I also agreed to write two recommendations letters for a good friend's daughter, in my capacity as teacher and friend.  They're for two scholarships, and the girl is brilliant, and everything, there's plenty of nice things to say, but I've never done it before, and I know my friend will read it, and it's just been a little hard.  I don't want to sound like an idiot.I made Mark take him.  Mark made Thomas drive, in the hopes that sometime before the end of the semester he would be able to drive over there by himself.  I asked Thomas how it went, later.  Thomas said that it was even more stressful for his Dad than for him --"There were expletives involved" 

There's one well-known side-effect of Wellbutrin that is the opposite affect of most anti-depressants.  Most of them depress one's libido.  This one does not.  In spades does not.  So I'm loving that part! (pun intended)


Jan. 16th, 2008 12:00 pm
sherron0: (Default)
I have now finally figured out what I have!!    
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.  As I turn on the hose in the driveway,  I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who  I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

sherron0: (Default)
On the second of Jan., I started a list of things I need to take care of.  It was  about half a page -- approx 10 separate items, some of which required several steps. Then i began working on it and all the other things that pop up as things would go.  Some of these things had to be added to the list.  Now, at the end of 2.5 days of working on the list, I've marked off 5 things, and added four things.  And started a secondary list of things I want to get to, but will have to wait.

Same ole

Nov. 7th, 2007 07:55 pm
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Man it's been a really busy last few days. I've been falling into bed exhausted without even trying to get on the internet. It doesn't help. The more I sleep, the worse i feel. Today I have a migraine. Of course I do, it's day two (well, really day one and a half) of the cycle. I feel incredibly overwhelmed. still. I can't seem to catch up no matter what I do.
sherron0: (Default)
I'm feeling really crowded, almost trapped lately. I feel like I always doing something for someone else or something that has to be done but isn't really fun, like the PT exercises, or sleep.  Of course I love my guys, and I'm glad to be their mother or wife, and I wouldn't want any of them to read this and feel guilty, I know I freely signed up for everything I'm doing, but I'm a little overwhelmed with things right now.  October seems to be a really busy month with lots of things to take care of.  So I find myself up at 2am, the only time I feel free to get on the computer and just answer my email or play. And then Mark tortures me about staying up late.  Like it's a character flaw or something.  He firmly believes that I should go to bed at a "decent" hour and get up earlier.  But morning time is no good for me.  The first hour or 2 hours after I get up (no matter what time of day that is or how much or how little sleep I've had) are just not pleasant or mentally useful hours for me.  So why would I get up and waste my precious alone hours during that?  I'd rather sleep late and get up just in time to waste that period of time doing the regular maintenance things (getting dressed, scooping the cat box, etc) or pretending to be alert while supervising Thomas doing school?  (At his age, it's not like I have to be enough on the ball to actually teach anything.) On the other hand, I'm staying up until 3am on days when I have to get back up by 8am and go somewhere, and I'm finding that, unlike when I was 20, I can no longer go forever on 4 or 5 hours of sleep. 
sherron0: (Default)
Mark gave me some sort of virus last week, and I was really bad last Friday.  I thought I was getting better, but today I woke up with it back almost full force.  I have been just "wiped" all day today.  And I couldn't rest, because I had to go out to PT, and then a mammogram and ultrasound (my breasts are really lumpy with cysts, and that plus the reduction surgery make me really hard to read) then I had to meet Thomas out at a friend homeschooler's house for Archery.  At least Mark was home and could take Thomas out to C's house so I didn't have to drag him to the MMG, or worry about rushing so we wouldn't be late, or how I would fit food for him into that schedule.  I stayed out at C's for a while after talking (she's a new homeschooler, and that's part of my "mission" I guess you'd call it, being on the school board and a 10 year veteran,  to be there and answer questions and offer support). And it was a pleasant day, perfect for being outside and watching kids shoot arrows.  Slightly cloudy, but not raining, so a little cooler than usual.  Still, by the time I did all that, I was truly not lucid.  I came home and ate and passed out on the couch.  And I never take naps.  And it didn't really work.  I'm still just icky.  Probably go to bed early. 

And Thomas and I are all on our own this weekend.  Mark is in TN, just outside Chattanooga for the annual Fall TAG Cave-in.  It's a big camp out and cave thing organized by an Atlanta Grotto (TAG is TN, AL, GA).  He'll have a great time.  I'd rather have a root canal.  And it's not a weekend Mat is supposed to come home. 

sherron0: (Default)
Beware the barrenness of a busy life.
sherron0: (Default)
"We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery." — H.G. Wells


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